The Monster and I

There’s an open grave in my backyard,

From which monsters and zombies emerge,

Strolling past every wall I build and every guard,

To sleep in my home’s corners, in every dream, every urge,

Be it innocent, sweet, sour or wild,

I have no reasons to open my eyes when they

Come howling, I know their voices like a child

Knows his mother’s lullaby at the end of the day,

No more do I open my eyes to anything

Even when I know the room is flooding with light

Warm and divine, I know exactly what the birds will sing

About hope bringing traces of morning into my night,

But I know the colors will just burn my eyes

Shut again, so I listen for your steps solid

Walking into the room with unmistakable confidence fluid,

I will not make a sound; I will not make a move,

I’ll wait for you to carry me to the floor

And tighten every last chain after you remove

Every mechanism that ever kept you from my core,

I feel your breath spreading over my skin as cold

As death piercing its way to my hollowed heart,

As you stroke my hair with your fingers of gold,

And sing me a dirge that hurts from the very start,

‘’Hush, child of unheard passion and untold sin,

Hush your wretched soul and open your eyes never,

Hurt not from the metal’s pressure against your skin,

It’s dead nature will kill your soul’s quiver’’

Don’t I know you? I’ve listened to you before,

All your songs, your screams, the faith of your soul,

You’re my favorite monster that would spare no door

Unbroken just to watch me fall.

Have we never been safer here,

In my night that never ends?

Have we never burned a tear

In honor of being such loyal friends?

Have you not rejoiced in the twist

Of my waist and untrimmed mind,

And we tried for a million times to resist

The room where lightning bolts entwined?

Have I not drank poison from your palms

And begged you for some more

To bring the high waves when the calm

Is killing me slowly with its lazy roar?

Yes, it was always you, I recognize you,

The metal, the chill, your steady voice, the thrill

That fills in the corners of my blurring view

And saves me from the still night’s kill,

Now, though I can not see you with my eyes closed,

I know you’re sitting in the corner waiting

As my body in its chains so vulnerable and exposed

Twists relentlessly in the waves of pain I’m creating,

I can feel you deeply inhaling,

And taking in the smell of my burning,

Beating heart moaning in its cage and slowly failing,

As you sip on the pleasure of my yearning,

Isn’t this the dance we’re dancing now?

You walk in uninvited but surely knowing

That the moment you enter I will kneel down and bow,

Despair taking the wheel even though pride’s showing,

Shyly it peaks behind the clouds, a bird

That in a few short moments will fly away

Never again to be seen or heard

Of until the breaking of a new meeker day,

So here I am, eyes closed, limbs spread, skin bared,

And chains locked with their keys nowhere to be found,

Waiting for the mutilating exorcism, word by sharpened word,

That will finally drive away the obsession with your sound,

And if it should fail and you should keep

Lurking in corners where I can not reach

And haunting every dream waking and asleep,

Then I should accept my fate and then beseech

To the rotten effigy in the temples of lust

Where black-eyed nuns drinking from the lakes of oblivion,

Will pour tears in my eyes to unlock it, then thrust

A dagger through my heart to end your dominion,

I would shake vigorously in my shackles and make a sound,

Aimed to drown yours but you’ll never disappear,

For the grave that you came from in the ground

Is still open wide to grant the world my every fear,

And maybe be in time when you finally taste my blood sweet

On your curved lips, sliding down your throat,

You’ll walk around carrying my rigid body on the street,

And screaming at the top of your lungs the poems I wrote,

You’ll tell the world the story of you and I,

How we were always wrong and always right,

How our worlds collided but we never asked why

Our spark of light never took flight,

You’ll preach to the air how I was your friend

And how your finger prints are all over my soul

And like grey afternoon in a summer, up until the end

How our eyes mocked our existence with walls of coal.