He carried me over his broad shoulders and I had no reason to fight him off. I knew very well when my voice had left me finally that I was facing a near crucifixion.
I looked in the eyes of the crowd upside down as I hung down his back like fur of a fox, dead and skinned, their eyes seemed to ease up, they cheered and inside me I cheered too, they were relieved that the mad one was being carried away with her poisonous mind and her delusional dreams that threatens their stability and their sanity in such a fundamental manner, that doesn't recognize their common sense or any other absolute standard that they've worshiped for generations and passed on to their sons, I was relieved for an escape from their world.
He carried me all the way to nowhere, where I did not see a thing, but I could only hear tides collapsing together on the shore, and I could only feel the breeze. He took me to a cave on the beach, were I was concealed even from the light of the moon, but somehow the strength of his beauty did not waver, it did not disappear, his beauty was imprinted inside my eyelids and it became a part of my dying world.
His arms were crossed as he said ''Do not fear me. I'm only here to kill you."
And I knew that he spoke my language.
"Do you claim to be above us, savages?" he held me against a rocky wall.
"I'm cursed with a door in the cloud, a lonely cloud trapped over this village" I answered, "I'm just a savage afflicted with a sickness."
His clasp tightened around me so much that I felt it squeezing the air out of my lungs, what a great pleasure it is to be in the tight clasp of a monster like Samson, The Beast.
"I have only taken you away from the villagers, O daughter of Eve, to kill you in the way you deserve to die, the way I choose for you" he said "Lo! What sets you apart from the other daughters?"
"My fellow sisters are ashamed of surrendering to a beauty such as you. I am not." I said "My dearest captor, I'm here willfully because I'm tired of this world and I see in your eyes that you understand the magnitude of that disaster."
And he looked away trying to hide his truth, but his truth was as audible as the waves loud on the shore.
"Discard your will, and I will avenge your miserable life for you."
"How?" I asked. And he told me that questions were no longer an option because choice was no longer one.
Cuts, bruises, razors, leather, screams, steel in the dark, rape after rape, I could taste my blood, I had no idea where the next hit will be coming from, my breath hitches, my joints lock together and an intense pleasure entrances me as I could feel the control seeping away from my body to his.
Such beautiful destruction. It was like he held a hammer and started cracking every wall I've ever formed, and with every crack I felt a light gushing out of me, invisible to the world but only inside of me did it shine and rid me of my noble savageness, it took me under and under, but in the wreckage I was above everything that ever existed in this universe.
He took me further from god, but somehow he made me understand him better.
In the submergence within this sin my flesh was quickly getting rotten and my soul was leaving me through the cracks, I was dying slowly, painfully in his beastly land away from the humdrum fucking of the commoners, and I enjoyed every thrust of it, every scream, every whispering word and sound. And I was determent to reach salvation in the arms of this new prophet of death, the one crazy enough to kill me enjoyably and to preach life to me through such a complicated death.
My flesh started to smell as every beauty started to fade, my spectacles fell and broke under his feet, but his beauty remained the same for a while before it started to go too, everything was collapsing into a black bottomless hole as my eyes started to close, as I started to see the ghosts of dead children and creatures from other lands calling for me to finally join them. Somewhere to belong to. I smiled for salvation.
My right arm fell first, then my right leg, then my ears and nose. After that my skin collapsed and my stomach fell off, my uterus, my brain and my vessels opened as my blood flowed on the sand of the beach. And then my heart fell last.
I heard the noises nearing, the savages has found the cave with my necrotic organs. He invited them in for a feast.
A little savage child bit off a finger and gave the rest of my hand to his mother, the father and the daughter shared my liver as another skinny savage scrimmaged with his brother over my full meaty thighs.
Bite after bite their teeth dug into me as I smiled from death, he avenged me truly, the savages started to fall like flies.The betrayer of his people, the mad murderer of us all, The kindest of Beasts.
"Food poisoning" he said, as he watched them eating the last one of my bones, and then he held my heart in his hand and took a big bite. He died too, as he chewed my heart in his strong jaws.
I could only imagine, that nations and nations of humans will feed on their rotting bodies and die too.
This is the story of my deliverance.
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