The Night The Shells Changed You

His fingers moved on them back and forth,

Each one holding a million years of worth,

And they ended up in his young strong hand,

Was it always made for him? a gift from the sand,

Sea tides and the last breath of a creature,

And from her, this strong and silent preacher

When she gave them away he did not stop to look

At how the tears in her sparkling eyes shook,

He knew tears, he knew she was scared even though

She was too brave as to let it show,

And he knew his fear too, that's why he so quickly

Hid them away, their edges seemed old and prickly,

they seemed wise and they might have spilled

Secrets that so long his black box had filled,

Their hollowness, look at their core so hollow,

Did picking them up ever sooth her sorrow?

Was I hard to miss?

Did she listen to them and remember our kiss

in their cavernous tides? much like her love

Always sinking deeper, but taking her above,

There, her eyes in them started to appear

In the hollowness to bid the night clear

I remember how she said something about

them having magical powers to clear all the doubt,

and I remember seeing her without really seeing her,

and feeling their magic in such a colorful blur,

If only I can run my fingers on their ridges

without fear of burning her crystal bridges,

If only she would know how those shells

Are such a threat if they cast their spells,

I'd bury them in wells, and to hell with the vow,

I'd throw them back into the sea if I only knew how,

He held in his hand all eight of them

A bridled white that he ought to condemn,

And he stood in the dead of night on the street,

Arms stretched, his hands marked by their heat,

He threw with all his might, but his hand refused

To obey his mind, then the riot diffused,

And soon his heart itself could not comply,

And then his mind fell motionless to their tie,

He would not do it, but he can not acknowledge

that her little shells had sharper than him an edge,

And the bridge, let him walk all over it tonight,

Will he try to throw them away again? He might.

I picked them up from the heart of the sand,

Washed them in the soul of the sea and

Thought that someday they were a home

for a poor creature that died at the foam

of his violent world after having lived deep

After joy lit up high and fear down did creep,

But he died alone and now his home was hollow,

So I took his home for my home to borrow

And maybe when he finds his home someday

He'll need a home to give her,so he'll give them away,

Maybe then their spell would set him free,

God, How I wish they would eventually return to me.

How Do I Love Thee?

My soul fell silent but my pen still demands

Satisfaction for my tongue’s transgressions and

My heart’s conspiracy against my mind’s sanity,

How could you be so childish as to put your faith’s clarity

Into an Odyssey of color? An artistic fallacy

Simplistic in all its depth and rich in frantic malady.

All the wisdom, peace and light of sages fall short,

Of treating symptoms of that austere sort,

For all what sages do is to touch the mind,

You see, mind’s nothing to do with diseases of that kind,

All its power, so overrated by the world, tumbles down

At the sight of so much as your beloved’s frown,

So what is the use of pens when the soul is mute?

Even when my heart bears enough of fruit

To feed the whole lot of Africa for centuries ahead,

And still I leave them to rot under my bed,

They turn black slowly, like the inside of my skin,

They lose their volume like my patience running thin,

And sin? Of all the reasons, why has god created sin?

For girls like me to run to, at the sight of every lost win?

For men’s decisions to seem relevant? For the whim

To be more meaningful? For our imaginations to swim

In oceans deep without of the fear of losing breath?

You know imagination dies the moment it senses death,

But not mine, I’ve reached for death willingly so many times,

It has been a most prominent theme in my rhymes

Since I first died at the hands of a fleeting knight

Who lost his place in the kingdom and rode out of sight,

And ever since he disappeared, I’ve died for all the same

Reasons, the same tunes, and I’m the one to blame,

Even though they had all the weapons sharp and ready,

It’s my fault entirely for making their hands so steady,

In the process of my slaughter, on the altar of daymares,

At the feet of happily ever after, now at the feet of a pier,

And how do I love thee? Let me count the ways,

I love thee in the dreams of the sun, and when the moon prays,

I love thee like a stream of light with all the universe’s stars

Wrapped inside it and rushing to its cage’s invisible bars

To expand then implode in colors never discovered and

I love thee with the color in painter’s eyes and poet’s hand,

I love thee with the passion of witches for hidden nature,

And got them burned by the fire of the same creature,

Consumed, ashes to ashes, ashes back to earth,

And whatever ends in earth must look upon a rebirth,

So ashes to ashes, love, I know I’ve said it before,

Go unheard of, go free, go captured underneath the floor,

My love is not for owning, it’s for my poetry alone,

My soul if not for yearning, would’ve turned to stone.

Oxytocin

Do you know that when you look,

And when your smile my soul invades,

The whole universe around me, it shook,

Do you know the sweetness of your blade?

Have you seen the involuntary glistening

Of my eyes at the sight of you?

To the words beyond the words have you been listening?

Do you hear that, love? It is for you.

It’s all about you, from the time I wake,

Till the time I bleed myself hollow,

Till my heart cracks and I slowly break,

At the feet of your love’s leaching sorrow.

And I still follow, because they made me believe,

That love is god’s heaven on earth,

Yet I cross the moorlands on horses of grieve,

They gallop freely, run home, there’s no girth.

Take me from him, take me to him,

He’s the start, he’s where all life ends,

Take me to him, horses, grey and grim,

Maybe when he sees you, his heart bends.

Or maybe when I reach his gardens,

I will find them blooming for another,

My feet grow weaker, his ice hardens,

And it burns me, and I burn the heather.

To spicks and twigs and yellowish wreckage,

That engulfs all what there is, the universe

Broken to pits of stars and black holes in a cage,

Condemned to be resolved by my flying verse.

Like a curse never meant to be cast,

One that was born of rusty crowns and thrones,

Once, my love, I told you that nothing lasts,

And that’s why the fire slept in my bones.

Then the fire burned them frail and thin,

Then you made them strong and yours,

For whoever gives meaning to the soul and skin

And makes them one creature, shall cure-

The unforgivable curse, memories dying untold,

Sometimes never born, and quietly buried

In the dreams of now, in your heart of gold,

In my breath and out, to their doom they hurried.

But memories are no timid creatures to die,

Their corpses make you cry when you want to smile,

Their essence make you smile when you want to cry,

Memories don’t die, my love, they just sleep for a while.

Then they grow old and themselves with poetry they fill,

And they enslave the horses grieve, make them wild,

Ride on; fear not, their fall will surely kill

You, if you’re lucky, your soul sleeps timid and mild.

And at its wake the faith shines strong,

Even though, love, you always come back only for doubt,

And for fears, for tears and obsessions, and all what’s wrong,

To nourish your throat at the time of drought.

But I apologize, for my faith in you

Can not be with doubt replaced,

Even though obsessions and tears are true,

Everything to faith can always be traced.

It is where my heart is entombed

It is the root of love, the core of dreams,

And it is the first sign of my surrender, the doomed

Path where silence is enchained in screams.

Obey, for your soul doesn’t belong to you,

Obey, the devil’s rhyme, your master’s perturbations,

Dance, on the graves of faith, love and the moor’s woe,

Close your eyes, spin and ask not for explanations.

Sin, to feel the dust that your faith envelops,

Maybe then you’ll remember you still have some,

Behold the mutations that in your soul develop,

As they bring you to your knees till your times comes.

Gold and Grey

The masks of gold that cover every face,

They fall so short of hiding lies I spin,

How does a girl maintain her tiring grace,

When at his sight her heart it yearns for sin?

If I may ask for nights’ explanations, how

You take all fear in them, turn them to dust.

They would say masks are fear and I know now

That lies they hide, are as sinful as lust.

I ask them ‘’Is your face also a mask?’’

Ah! Love, I care not what the mask will say,

To know your every detail is such a task

That held me captive, love I need not stray

To find anything about your heart for I too

Have held it night after night until I found

A light at night that shone through me and through,

Grey ghosts that kept me from reaching your sound.

As distant as this voice may go inside

The abyss, I follow hypnotized like blind

And foolish children follow music’s tide,

All derived from the leisure of their mind.

And so I stumble without you even glance,

Behind to take my hand down with you so,

I must keep my feet up beat for a chance,

To die in arms built for me, eyes more true

Than any gospel put down by saints designed

To keep me grounded, lands I don’t belong

To tries to trap me, yet I’m to say what’s lined

For me in the stars, dare who say I am wrong?

So who’s to say the nights’explanations are

To be obeyed, it’s only us flying high,

Embraced in clouds, nothing to hold us, far

Above all, where I ask you to kiss me,

And you ask not why.

My Letter To You...

I wrote this today because I wanted to explain to you why I love you, though I know you will never read this and I know you will never feel it...This is one of the days when I have to express it to the air, maybe the universe would have something to say about it...
I love you because you are decent, funny, smart and sweet still you also have this bad boy evil side to you that speaks to the bad girl inside me, but you still respect me and you still listen to me even when what I'm saying is just crazy talk.. i love you because you get mad when i say i dont feel good enough for the world and you start saying that im enough just because im me.. i love you because when i say im adorable jokingly, you say that its true because you know that i forget it sometimes.. i love you because you call me that special name and it makes me feel warm inside.. i love you because you would rather be my friend and keep me longer rather than touching me one time.. i love you because when i get mad at you, you listen to all what i have to say and then absorb my stupid anger.. and for telling me im a crazy person then saying you'll never leave me.. i love you because you don't lie to me and because you keep your word... i love you because you love everyone and you care about your friends so much, even the ones not that close to you.. i love you because you love your family and you love helping them even if it means less time for ur self doing the things you love,it kinda makes me wanna be your family too.. i love you because you feel guilty when you do something wrong and you never think its too late to turn back.. i love that when you're hungry or sleepy you are so dysfunctional and when you're uncomfortable you start criticizing little things and i find that adorable like a little boy.. i love how you never believe me when i say im fine and keep asking me what im hiding and i love how you can always tell when im hiding something because I always need this little push... i love it when you smile because of me and when you cry because of me and how you fought for me... and i love it when you act like a little boy and leech to me like your mother... i love that you would do everything just so we'd stay friends and not risk that... and that even when it gets complicated you manage to simplify the terms to honesty and trust... i love it when you tell me a secret or when you ask me to tell you one cuz that's when i feel really close to your soul... i love you because of the passion i know you have but you'd never show... i love you because you make me feel safe and because you make me wanna be happy and make others happy... i love you because i can always be vulnerable with you and because I can talk to you about anything without being judged and I love you because you always make me laugh... i love you because no one can understand me better, and because no one can handle me better...I love you even if you don't know it and even if you'll never see it, or see me in that particular place in your heart saved for ''the one''... i can keep writing more reasons but it would not explain why I love you still... 

Requiem

The Dust

All Hail the Almighty, in whom we trust,

Even in your mortifying silence, and in ours eternal,

Even when our elders are dead long since in their lives,

At the feet of all the wrong paths, the worst strives,

And they’re reaching to us with hands infernal.

To embrace our ambition, wrap our soul in a stench,

That spoiled their best days and to drench

All our dreams in their rotten reality,

We’ve long forgotten the tales about pixy dust,

Though young, in the dust of graves we trust,

And we’ve stopped seeking traces of your humanity,

The scars are darkened showing your profanity.

                                         

The Blood

Scarlet ribbons stained with mud,

My wounded lakes formed a flood inside,

The color of a mad portrait of St. Valentine

Seeing virtue in slaughtering love and drinking its wine,

And like you he got drunk on it, in his false pride.

The blood gushing from my wound into heaven,

Smelled even better than this obsession forgiven

By true love itself, never seen outside my soul,

And my feet splattered more blood across the floor,

As I run and slam my body from door to door,

Desperately trying to scream out one last call.

The Grave

I’ve heard them saying that I’ve been brave,

Just because in the universe I obtained a voice,

For I was born in chains, to people in chains,

I’ve looked down and saw aligned slaves on lanes

Stretching to doom, so there was no other choice.

When I heard the angel in the sky that sings

An ancient song, that a lifetime ago I had wings,

And if I found them anew they'd take me to heaven,

So I followed the harmony of the blissful sound,

He just never said that the doorway in the ground,

Is the only path to fly above skies seven.

The Light

Always uncovered in the darkest blight,

Our faith when our eyes fail to see

The dark night in its very core,

Slowly and gently beating for us to explore,

Where it hides when it goes deep into the sea

Then it emerges from the mountain, what rays carry,

And if I let it guide my path will my eyes grow weary,

Light, O, oldest friend of the dark,

The blood of angels in our mortal veins,

I’ve found you lurking in a thousand broken chains,

And when death strikes, it sets your spark.

The Monster and I

There’s an open grave in my backyard,

From which monsters and zombies emerge,

Strolling past every wall I build and every guard,

To sleep in my home’s corners, in every dream, every urge,

Be it innocent, sweet, sour or wild,

I have no reasons to open my eyes when they

Come howling, I know their voices like a child

Knows his mother’s lullaby at the end of the day,

No more do I open my eyes to anything

Even when I know the room is flooding with light

Warm and divine, I know exactly what the birds will sing

About hope bringing traces of morning into my night,

But I know the colors will just burn my eyes

Shut again, so I listen for your steps solid

Walking into the room with unmistakable confidence fluid,

I will not make a sound; I will not make a move,

I’ll wait for you to carry me to the floor

And tighten every last chain after you remove

Every mechanism that ever kept you from my core,

I feel your breath spreading over my skin as cold

As death piercing its way to my hollowed heart,

As you stroke my hair with your fingers of gold,

And sing me a dirge that hurts from the very start,

‘’Hush, child of unheard passion and untold sin,

Hush your wretched soul and open your eyes never,

Hurt not from the metal’s pressure against your skin,

It’s dead nature will kill your soul’s quiver’’

Don’t I know you? I’ve listened to you before,

All your songs, your screams, the faith of your soul,

You’re my favorite monster that would spare no door

Unbroken just to watch me fall.

Have we never been safer here,

In my night that never ends?

Have we never burned a tear

In honor of being such loyal friends?

Have you not rejoiced in the twist

Of my waist and untrimmed mind,

And we tried for a million times to resist

The room where lightning bolts entwined?

Have I not drank poison from your palms

And begged you for some more

To bring the high waves when the calm

Is killing me slowly with its lazy roar?

Yes, it was always you, I recognize you,

The metal, the chill, your steady voice, the thrill

That fills in the corners of my blurring view

And saves me from the still night’s kill,

Now, though I can not see you with my eyes closed,

I know you’re sitting in the corner waiting

As my body in its chains so vulnerable and exposed

Twists relentlessly in the waves of pain I’m creating,

I can feel you deeply inhaling,

And taking in the smell of my burning,

Beating heart moaning in its cage and slowly failing,

As you sip on the pleasure of my yearning,

Isn’t this the dance we’re dancing now?

You walk in uninvited but surely knowing

That the moment you enter I will kneel down and bow,

Despair taking the wheel even though pride’s showing,

Shyly it peaks behind the clouds, a bird

That in a few short moments will fly away

Never again to be seen or heard

Of until the breaking of a new meeker day,

So here I am, eyes closed, limbs spread, skin bared,

And chains locked with their keys nowhere to be found,

Waiting for the mutilating exorcism, word by sharpened word,

That will finally drive away the obsession with your sound,

And if it should fail and you should keep

Lurking in corners where I can not reach

And haunting every dream waking and asleep,

Then I should accept my fate and then beseech

To the rotten effigy in the temples of lust

Where black-eyed nuns drinking from the lakes of oblivion,

Will pour tears in my eyes to unlock it, then thrust

A dagger through my heart to end your dominion,

I would shake vigorously in my shackles and make a sound,

Aimed to drown yours but you’ll never disappear,

For the grave that you came from in the ground

Is still open wide to grant the world my every fear,

And maybe be in time when you finally taste my blood sweet

On your curved lips, sliding down your throat,

You’ll walk around carrying my rigid body on the street,

And screaming at the top of your lungs the poems I wrote,

You’ll tell the world the story of you and I,

How we were always wrong and always right,

How our worlds collided but we never asked why

Our spark of light never took flight,

You’ll preach to the air how I was your friend

And how your finger prints are all over my soul

And like grey afternoon in a summer, up until the end

How our eyes mocked our existence with walls of coal.